Thursday, June 25, 2015

Know your rights.

Today we are going to discuss one of the more embarrassing issues of aging, one of those things that nobody really wants to discuss. We are going to examine one of those awful, hideous side affects of living a long, happy, moderately successful life. If you are squeamish you might want to go read something else, maybe something about how my other blog has been nominated for an award (thank you Mike, you are truly a real guy and as soon as I can get over my pretest nausea I will answer the questions).  That's right, we are going to discuss driving with your blinker on, constantly.
Don't forget to check your blinker fluid every
week.  Use only authentic Acme Blinker Fluid.

Sure, it isn't easy, most cars these days have little warning beeps, or buzzes, or something to alert you that the blinker has been on since you merged into traffic in Tennessee, and that was three and a half states ago. One sure fire method of overwhelming that little auditory nuisance is putting on some classic rock and blasting it loud enough to rattle the windows.

Don't let any of those snotty nosed, wet behind the ears, no nothing punks tell you that Judas Priest or Metallica are classic rock, just hit them with your cane, and move on. We know classic rock means Credence Clearwater Revival, or Janis Joplin, maybe the Doors, or possibly Buffalo Springfield.    There is no better way to drown out that annoying little "ding, ding, ding" than you and Neil Young singing;

"In a while will the smile
on my face
turn to plaster?
Stick around while the clown
who is sick
does the trick of disaster
For the race of my head
and my face
is moving much faster
Is it strange I should change?
I don't know,
why don't you ask her?"


At the top of your lungs, together, almost in harmony, or not, who cares, man they don't write 'em like that anymore.


But, remember, you are getting older, you have lived through a lot, and driving around, with your blinker on, all the time is your right.  Sooner or later you will turn, this way you are a few steps ahead of the game.