Today we are going to discuss one of the more embarrassing issues
of aging, one of those things that nobody really wants to discuss. We are going
to examine one of those awful, hideous side affects of living a long, happy,
moderately successful life. If you are squeamish you might want to go read
something else, maybe something about how my other blog has been
nominated for an award (thank
you Mike, you are truly a real guy and as soon as I can get over my pretest
nausea I will answer the questions). That's right, we are going to
discuss driving with your blinker on, constantly.
Don't forget to check your blinker fluid every week. Use only authentic Acme Blinker Fluid. |
Sure, it isn't easy, most
cars these days have little warning beeps, or buzzes, or something to alert you
that the blinker has been on since you merged into traffic in Tennessee, and
that was three and a half states ago. One sure fire method of overwhelming that
little auditory nuisance is putting on some classic rock and blasting it loud
enough to rattle the windows.
Don't let any of those snotty nosed, wet behind the ears, no nothing punks tell you that Judas Priest or Metallica are classic rock, just hit them with your cane, and move on. We know classic rock means Credence Clearwater Revival, or Janis Joplin, maybe the
Doors, or possibly Buffalo Springfield. There is no better way to drown
out that annoying little "ding, ding, ding" than you and Neil Young
singing;
"In a while will the smile
on my face
turn to plaster?
Stick around while the clown
who is sick
does the trick of disaster
For the race of my head
and my face
is moving much faster
Is it strange I should change?
I don't know,
why don't you ask her?"
At the top of your lungs,
together, almost in harmony, or not, who cares, man they don't write 'em like
that anymore.
But, remember, you are getting
older, you have lived through a lot, and driving around, with your blinker on,
all the time is your right. Sooner or later you will turn, this way you
are a few steps ahead of the game.
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