Aging for dummies, like me.

Aging is a disgusting habit. Yes, my doctor was all thrilled when I quit smoking, not one word about the negative effects of getting older. He was thrilled when I started going to the gym and exercising, but not one comment on how much time was dragging me down. "Eating vegetables, great idea, but maybe you should try not growing old so quickly."

It is getting hard to see things without my glasses. Our optometrist explained that it was a side effect from aging, your eyes lose their elasticity, or the shape changes or something, I don't really remember.

It is getting harder to remember things. Obviously, this was never a strength, but recently it is a habit, an addiction. Find out something important, better write it down, now where did I put that pen, and is that a note pad over by the refrigerator? Hey, as long as I am at the fridge might as well make a sandwich, grab a pop. What was I going to do again? Oh yeah, have a sandwich.

And it had better be something with some food value, because there is no bouncing back from empty calories anymore. Eating it adds the pounds and they are there forever. A slowing metabolism guarantees anything above subsistence food will still be there next doctor visit. And he hates a few extra pounds. Exercise doesn't help, it hurts.

Oh, sure, I hit the gym routinely. Now though, it has started hitting back. Huge, crushing body blows, filled with malice, and anger, leave me reeling in breathless pain, as I climb onto the treadmill and hold tight. Just hoping it won't throw me off the back of the machine in sobbing pile of ancient, broken humanity.

And through it all they say, "How are the golden years, Tim? Bastards, anyway.

All Right Life, its You and Me in a Cosmic Game of Go Fish #FixThePlus!

"People try to put us down

Just because we get around."

The Who, My Generation.

We probably don't get around as well as we used to, and certainly don't look as good in bell bottoms and ponytails.* And, we are more careful about what we eat. But slowing down is not stopping.

I still feel the power of life burning inside. Waking up, and clawing my way to my first cup is still easy enough. The day is waiting for me, and it is mine to take, or leave as I see fit. 

Occasionally regret will cloud the landscape, but that serves to remind, think things through, mistakes, once made, can not be unmade. Use your mind to make your way instead of repair it.  My past was a gas, I had a lot of fun, a lot. But, that is the ancient history, and reckless days are better left there. It is the future that excites me. 

Somehow, it seems, and maybe this is naivete slipping through the granite like facade, my best days lie ahead. There are many things to accomplish, many victories to claim. 

Aging is fine, giving up is not. So what if the president, and my doctor are younger. It doesn't matter, there are still mountains to climb, metaphorically speaking of course. Climbing mountains is for those brave foolish souls who don't want to get to this age.

John Paul Jones said "I have not yet begun to fight." And though fighting is dangerous, I am still doing my damnedest to wrestle life to a draw, still feeling good about things. I am still a "screaming diz buster."** I am still playing by my rules, though now the rules involve more sleeping and a lot more vegetables, along with trips to the gym, and drinking a lot of water.  Take that home with you Life.

We are not the older generation, we are the better generation. Who's with me?

* I never looked good with a pony tail. I have the worlds worst toupee, and it is my own hair. It is thick, filled with knots and recalcitrant. It does what it wants, which is never what I want. But I did look good in bell bottoms. No, I looked ridiculous, but was too young to know.

**Whatever the hell that is.

Aging Gracelessly Is OK.

Most times I feel pretty young. Certainly not 56, which is my age. When I look in the mirror there  is an old man looking back. Every year is etched into the lines carved by a reality that I am not ready to face. So, we have made a deal, reality and I.

I will exercise more, eat more fruit and vegetables, drink more water, switch from coffee to tea after a couple of cups, be a lot nicer to people and try to have a happier outlook.

In return I can still fixate on something, (Ghenghis Khan, for example) and spend hours researching, and discussing it.* Which brings up a point that can not be made often enough, there need to be more decent history podcasts. I have only managed to find a few really good series. I am going to make a list and put it on the The Tech Whacko Blog. And now you have something to anticipate, isn't that fortunate.

Also, for about three days, at some point midway between haircuts, the rapidly encroaching grey in my hair, and the remaining black reach harmony, and my hair looks great. I look in the mirror, and don't even notice the ancient face staring back at me, (whoever he is he follows me everywhere). All I see is this fabulous looking hair, it doesn't even need combed. It just arranges itself into perfection.  The rest of the time it morphs into the worst looking toupee in all of Ohio, and it isn't even a toupee.

Doctor Dawg smokin' hot thanks to Fused by Tiger Tree Apps.** 

Further, I still get to obsess over my latest photo manipulation app. By the way, I downloaded one this morning, so read about it soon, on the Tech Whacko Blog. Here, I should thank Stanley the Work Dog, who poses so well for pictures, and has really added a much needed boost to my blogging life.

Plus, I get to plan for my big kayak or canoe purchase. It is still up in the air which one it will be, but the decision making, the research, the terrible, overwhelming, crushing  analysis is where all the fun is, and it gives us something to talk about, and my wife loves that.

Getting older can be awful, the aches and pains of the years, coupled with the debilitating doubts of youth magnified by decades of decisions, and observance, take a toll.But if you go about it correctly, have a smart phone, a local gym and a decent library, and a dog friend at work, it ain't so bad.

Looking back over this miserable, self absorbed post now would be a good time to apologize, there are so many I's in this post, and I (there it is again) promised myself (I, me, myself, man what an egomaniac) that this wouldn't happen, but it did, and changing it now would be too much work, and it is time to switch to tea. So, please pretend this is about somebody else.


* I would like to thank my wife for years of enduring pointless drivel, recounted endlessly, in tiring, obsessive detail. You have been a true champ. And, to a lesser extent, my co-workers who listen, but not so patiently.

** While Tiger Tree Apps are great, and used often they would be that much better if they paid Life Explained a pittance for the endorsement.